Life From The Left Side

Christmas, New Years, and a great wedding have passed since I have typed to you last and what do I have to show for it?? I watched a rented copy of failure to launch, I played catch phrase, I saw two people who are crazy in love with each other tie the knot and last but certainly not least a BROKEN HUMORUS. Let me start off by saying that there is nothing humorous about a broken humorus ( I should make funny T-shirts).

When I think of christmas I think of family, friends, food, and Santa. Usually Santa is pretty good to me treats me right and in return he gets a good boy for the other 364 days of the year. This year Santa and I DID NOT see eye to eye. To me great presents consist of dress work clothes, gift cards to best buy, and maybe a pair of shoes thrown in to even things out a bit. I guess santa thinks great gifts are rented copies failure to launch (awful movie by the way), socks, the game catch phrase, leather gloves that still have yet to come in the mail and broken arms. Now mind you I do know the true meaning of the season, but COME ON!

Now to the kids in love. I hope someday to find someone who compliments me as well as skye compliments Lane. Great match and they know it. I have been to weddings before but this is the first one were I didn't get the sense that the couple was scared/worried, it was refreshing to see and iwish them nothing but the best. As for my partcipation on the dance floor. I am 6'11" i already draw enough attention to myself. There are certain things I don't do, and dance is at thr top of that list. short people don't get things off high shelves, fat peopke shouldn't wear spandex, cats don't love dogs and tall white guys don't dance its a law of nature. I don't make the rules I just follow them.

On to my arm. Let's just say it damn icy out there. So it's the night of Lane's wedding, fun is being had by all, due to past experiences I am not a huge fan of weddings, but I am having a great time at this one. Since, as stated earlier I don't dance I ducked out of the wedding after the dance had been going for awhile and before the matron of honor comes and asks me to dance AGAIN! (she must be familiar with natures Laws, I wonder what she has a dog who loves a cat?). So I head to a local bar continue the fun, 2am comes bar closes and dumb Jon is not ready to stop. I go to an after bar party that consists of 4 guys 4 girls and an old couple. PPPAAARRRRRRRRTTTTTTIIIIIIEEEEEE. All the girls have boyfriends, but the 3 other guys I am with hit on them. Hows that going for you? Any way 3 hours of a Journey DVD, Fleetwood Mac DVD, and watching unsuccessful attempts at "getting play" is enough for me so I figure its time to leave. Do I call a cab? Nope. I would rather walk the 3 miles home. .......walking................walking...........walking. half a block from home it happens the ice monster grabs my feet and says be gone with you. WOW. So after a couple of mins sitting on the ground with out being able to move right arm I realize that I did more than hit my funny bone. I thought I dislocated my shoulder, nope trying to pop my shoulder back in hurts ALOT. So i pick up my arm and drive myself to the ER. X-rays show my shoulder is fine. I go to take more og arm and after the first one the tech says "OOOhhhh no" not what I want to hear mind you. I ask what did I break something she says to me "I cant tell you" while holding up the X-ray which I see looks like some one cut my bone with a dull butter knife. So back to the room the Dr. says "Jon you broke your humorus". Thats when magic happened and the wonderful line was born. I say "there is nothing humorous abou that" (what can I say I was in a zone comedically, MJ has been there, its a goal of all competitors to be there) to which I get nothing but blank stares. It would be alot like MJ dropping 63 in a playoff game and only his mom clapping as he left the floor. It was atough crowd. Needless to say I am trying to figure out this forign object that many of you call a left hand because Mr. Righty is on the DL for 6-8 wks.

This blog took me about an hour to type and every letter was typed by my left hand, so spelling and grammer police out there Cram It!